Monday, December 1, 2008

"I am Legend"

I rushed to the restroom and locked myself up in a cubicle, fighting to keep myself together as the enormity of the decision I just made began to sink in. The door opened and the footsteps of two men echoed on the cramp tiled room.

"I couldn't believe anyone could have done that. The guy was an absolute disgrace, I mean, how could anyone throw it all away".

"I've been with HR for years and this is the first time it happened and hopefully it would also be the last, maybe we should change our recruitment policies to screen out those lunatics".

"Ha-ha-ha... People will be talking about this for a long time."

Their laughter filled the room for a while, and then silence as the footsteps headed for the door, which gave out an audible creaking sound as they went out. I waited a few minutes before stepping out of the cubicle pushing myself into a brisk walk. I couldn't wait to leave.

Two weeks of grueling apprenticeship had ended at this afternoon's citator examination, a hands-on, job-simulated process of analyzing data retrieved from the web through a series of coded entries the apprentices were methodically thought to memorize and put into application during the training period consisting of daily lectures, quizzes and oral recitations.

During the first few days of the apprenticeship, my lack of training in computers and complete unfamiliarity with a class-room environment, it's been years and I couldn't quite recall anymore how it was to sit in class, were a revelation that quickly overwhelmed my initial excitement at having finally landed a second job, rather, the opportunity to land a second job.

There were moments I would completely lapse into an absolute state of ignorance, an alien in a strange planet, while everyone around me were on the same page thinking in the same wavelength, the language they speak a mystery I couldn't quite comprehend. By the end of the week, and following a series of failed quizzes one after another, and equally disastrous oral recitations, I have fallen deep down the bottom rung of the pecking order.

Finally, this afternoon, during the finals, the last straw.

The multi-colored computer screen seemed to mockingly stare at me, while I held the two-page questionnaire, unable to even start. Two weeks of preparation proved to have amounted to nothing as I agonized over each and every question but not finding any sense out of the whole exercise not even the slightest idea what is asked, much less, what is the answer. The computer wouldn't oblige to my command, I couldn't even leave the first page. I went brain dead and it was hopeless.

At some other times, it would be ridiculous, this experience that I am going through except that this all-important opportunity was supposed to make a huge and lasting impact on how I could financially cope with life in the next few years, and how I can feed my family, so it is completely difficult to find the humor on my latest monumental failure.

After one full hour of futility, I've had enough. I handed back the questionnaire to the stunned trainors in the same blank immaculate condition that it was when I received it. "I'm so sorry, I can't go through this".

From the rest room, I went straight to the lobby guards downstairs to claim my ID and sign out. They fell in a hush as soon as I arrived but as I turned my back to leave, one of them whispered to the others "He's the one".

I am legend...

5 comments:

This Brazen Teacher said...

Hyphen dear, I miss seeing you. Please do not keep us waiting so long next time. I hope you are too busy enacting grandiose schemes and lovely plots of fun- rather than working too hard... although I fear it's the latter. Take care of yourself,

-Brazen

roadgurl5 said...

Hi Hyphen...oh my gosh, this could have easily been one of my experiences. I wanted to run away, very fast and very far...oh, that awful feeling comes back! :o|

david santos said...

Great work, my friend, great!
Have a nice day!

Parvez Ahmed said...

Yes, the hyphen is a mysterious thing but "hanging on a hyphen" is more mysterious.

Suddenly, he comes out of hiding from some deep cave or something and there, on his blog sits a beautiful story!

timethief said...

It's wonderful to find that you are back. :)